Working it Out

Excerpt From: Working It Out

Jake Grant dropped the eighty-pound weight to the floor, hid his face in his hands and cried. The gym was closed, had been for hours and that was the only reason he let the tears flow.

Six months had passed since Mark had been killed. The insurance company had settled early, and the money sat in an account he didn’t want to think about. The huge Victorian house they had bought together in downtown New Bern and refinished had sold last month.

All that was left for him in North Carolina was the gym.

It pained him to admit that the gym was the one thing he had always loved more than Mark. Even though Jake loved the gym and wouldn’t want to part with it for anything in the world, every corner of the place held memories of his lover. Hell, he’d changed the office, moving from the plush room they’d created together to a small storage space where the files used to be kept. It hadn’t helped.

The gym sat in a perfect location, only a few blocks from the Trent River where he and Mark used to end their jog every morning. They’d walk over to Port City Java for a quick fruit smoothie before crossing the street to work. All of their little habits were reminders of how good his life had been.

A train whistle blew mournfully in the distance, breaking the eerie silence of the early morning. In a few hours people would filter in, trying to get in a workout before their day started.

He’d been stupid to stay up so late. The old apparitions of Mark always came out when the place was empty.

Jake picked up a towel and scrubbed his face, angry at his reaction. Hot tears burned his eyes again as he remembered his late-night workouts with Mark when they were getting to know each other.

They’d both been jocks before they met. Fitness had been Jake’s life through college. Meeting Mark his junior year had opened up a world he hadn’t really expected to live in. Mark had been sure of his sexuality. Out but not a flaming fag. He’d taught Jake to feel comfortable with being gay. They’d become lovers slowly, coming together over the Christmas break. But Jake’s insecurities had kept them from being open about their relationship until after college.

After graduation they’d both worked double shifts, Mark dancing at the male strip club in front of rabid women and Jake waiting tables at a high-end restaurant. When they’d finally scraped together enough money to purchase the building and equipment for their gym they had no longer been hiding their relationship. No one who had come in made it a big deal, of course. Neither had he or Mark. No public displays on the gym floor, and that rule went for everyone, hetero or not.

The club members had been supportive since Mark’s death, but Jake could tell their well-wishing was wearing thin. Better to sell and get out from under the grind of putting on the happy face every morning for clients who didn’t understand, even if they were well- meaning.

Jake pulled a pillow out of the closet, tugged on a sweatshirt and lay down on a floor mat. He couldn’t face the apartment he’d rented another night. He was being stupid, and he knew it. It wasn’t fair to him, or to Mark’s memory, to be so totally screwed up, but what the hell else was he to do?

After tossing and turning for a few hours he heard the key in the lock then the annoying beep of the alarm. The lights flipped on, blinding him momentarily. He threw his arms over his face, blocking out the light.

“Jake, sorry. Didn’t realise you would be here.”

“Really?” Jake peeked out from behind his arm, spying Trixie looking all happy and bubbly.

“I guess I should have known. You’ve been sleeping here quite a bit lately. But it’s morning. The gym will open soon.”

Jake struggled to get to his feet. Not that he was out of shape, but too many nights on the floor was starting to wear on him. His attitude stank too. “Shit, I need something to kick-start me.”

“Coffee?”

“Sure. Anything will do.”

“Next time you think about sleeping here on this uncomfortable floor you should really think about coming home with me.”

“What?” Jake stuck his pinkie in his ear, not sure he’d heard the girl right. She had known Mark and knew he didn’t swing that way.